The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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