new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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