This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
