In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
