During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
