remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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