I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
