I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
