i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
