I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
