oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize