On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
