apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
