its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
