her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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