The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
