i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
