I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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