I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize