remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
