i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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