just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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