what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
