I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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