I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize