But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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