I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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