he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
