I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
