I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
