if only i could text you this smell
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
