Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
