I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
