Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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