And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
