69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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