When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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