Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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