Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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