I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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