Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize