Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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