theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
