his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
