I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
3 2 1 whiskey
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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