they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
