I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
