I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
