Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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