Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
