Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
