i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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