I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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