when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't make out with my wife yet
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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