remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
