my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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