so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
