So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize