hotel room ftw
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
