I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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