Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
