Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
