it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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