Can i not drive my cunt home
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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