the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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