I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Come on in and take your pants off
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