Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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