She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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