I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
