how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
