I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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