Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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