Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
