You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Randomize
